15 Important Lessons You Should Be Aware About before getting married
Here the most important things nobody would have told you to do before getting married!
Yes, let the fact that you are going to be taken forever; sink in! Is it scary, exciting, or weird? Well, probably it is beyond words.
Can you ever be ready for marriage? No. You just have to take the step. However, your singlehood deserves a good farewell, so before you tie the knot, let yourself loose and see how you wanna spend the rest of your “free” days, however, here are 15 things you should consider before you live your pre-wedding goals:
1. Figure out-your and your spouse’s values
Values reflect a person’s sense of right and wrong or what’s “ought” to be. Values influence attitudes and behaviour, so its the first and foremost thing to understand the values embedded in your better half in order to adjust in future.
2. Understand what marriage is and why do you want to marry
A lot of people marry because of the wrong reasons. While they haven’t yet discovered themselves, they try to understand the other person. Please, don’t marry just because you are lonely. No one can define heavy words like “love”, yet everyone has their own definition. You decide what marriage means to you and how you want to approach it.
Setting your priorities straight is very important, right from the beginning. For example, you hold family as the top priority and he has his mind on his career. How will you find a balance, if you keep feeling hurt because they didn’t choose you over their career? Talk it out!
We all have it, some are just better at hiding it. Learn what your insecurities are and ask him about his. Our past shapes our present and our present shapes our future. You both will have to be patient to establish peace.
Don’t let your life revolve around each other. I know what romantic novels tell you, but that doesn’t mean you will forget about your own individuality. Have a life outside the realm of your relationship. Gone are the days when women used to nurture and men used to hunt for food. Now, you both nurture, you both set the table up with food. Booyah!
6. Understand what relationships are based on
Honesty and Trust are said to be the foundation of any relationship. Your relationship can’t survive without the two. Better make sure, if you have a solid one.
7. Deal breakers
Know the things that could destroy your entire marriage and give a major heart-BURN! Learn the things you or your partner strictly wouldn’t want! For better or worse, mistakes will happen, we are humans and WE ARE FLAWED. The question is what can we live with and what is a complete NO.
8. Get your heartbroken
You know why people say, at-least-once gets your heartbroken because then you will realize that even after all the hurt, pain and suffering, you can still survive! This is also to tell you that never make decisions fearing that you’ll be heartbroken because no matter what-YOU CAN SURVIVE ON YOUR OWN.
Travel places, with your friends, partner and family. See what is out in the world and how do you handle all the travelling woes. Understanding what kind of traveller are you, it helps to submerge all the future troubles with travelling. Also, you will have an idea of what is out there and what you are missing on. Maybe then instead of getting married, you’ll get wanderlust. Now, this goes back to the second point, understanding the true reasons for marrying.
10. Live alone
It’s important to live alone, to make sure that you can do stuff on your own. You become independent. Now, many questions, what is wrong with being dependent? You see, if you depend on him for your lifestyle then you’ll always feel like you need “him” to survive. There’s nothing wrong in it. Traditionally, this is what has happened and it still happens. But, if you don’t respect and appreciate your individuality, you’ll never be able to see how amazing you are. You’ll always be living under the shadow of that person who holds all the cards. Well, in my opinion, owning up for your life is better than letting someone else decide what you should do.
11. Live as a paying guest with someone else
This will help you realize how to develop patience and tolerance for the things that others do and it annoys the hell out of it. You’ll understand that compromises are not easy and you cannot compromise on everything.
12. Learn how to cook and take care of the everyday necessity
This goes without saying-you NEED food. You cannot function without it, as simple as that. So, you both need to learn how to cook and both need to figure out, where will you get your FOOD, who will wash the dishes, who will clean the apartment, who will do the laundry, these are everyday tasks that need to be taken care of before marriage.
13. Develop your personality
Who are you? What is the story of your life? How will you define yourself? What qualities do you have? Do you understand the government and the world you live in? Your personality is your individuality; Make sure to keep polishing it along the way.
14. Learn about each other and how do you handle anger?
You know, a lot of people love each other, yet live in abusive households because they don’t know how to manage their anger. They have anger issues and they don’t know how to help themselves or each other. Don’t suffer just because you can’t manage your emotions. Your emotional wellbeing is as important as all the other things and this goes for both; men and women.
15. What do you want from life?
We all have dreams or at-least most of us have. Are you living up to that? Do you see yourself growing old with the person you are marrying? Dreams unfulfilled leaves resentment in that heart and that makes you bitter and annoying. You don’t want that right? Don’t marry, just because you don’t know what to do with your life, because it will feel weirder when you’ll feel lost after marriage? You know, the mid-life crisis, it’s because we don’t live up to our dreams, wants and desires in our twenties. Don’t give up on that.
The biggest thing to remember is communication, there is nothing that can’t be sorted with an exchange of understanding words!
I hope this list would help you to take the next step in your life cycle!